Ignore This

I Never Write In It, Anyway

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Timestamp: [1/4] Video Reactions and Betting Disputes
Nabbed from pinkpaisley_art--Thank you!
Title: Video Reactions and Betting Disputes
Characters/Pairings: Puck/Quinn/Mercedes, ensemble
Word Count: 660
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, AU, mild hints of polyamory, no spoilers for Season 2
Summary: Santana demands $600 as the result of a bet made five years previously. Everyone takes offense to her demand.
Notes: This is the first timestamp serving as a coda to my gleebigbang fic here.

Video Reactions

Still one of my better moments. (On punching Mr. Fabray.)

Look at my hair! Is that…strawberry auburn? What was I thinking?!

Look at my hair! Also, I know how to change a diaper now, Tina. Too late? Yeah, too late. Sorry.

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the enormity of my talent. I planned an amazing baby shower with only two months notice. I’m nominated for a Tony. Is there anything I can’t do?

For the record, Matt, now that I’m no longer pregnant I find lobster with barbecue sauce totally disgusting. I don’t know what I was thinking then. I blame the hormones.

Guys? I have an even worse meal to share. Wanna hear?

I’m still mad you zoomed in on my breasts, Noah! You’re like a twelve-year-old sometimes!

Can you believe it? Ms. Sylvester actually wrote in a reference to Mr. Schue’s hair in one of her articles. The one about talk shows, I believe.

I kinda want to know if your cat was really psychic or not. Britt?

Quinn. I need to know what my ass has to do with why you guys broke up in high school. C’mon, spill!

Yo Rach, how did you get a hold of all our flight and driving plans? Stalker much?

I noticed you’ve stopped wearing sweater vests, Artie. Now if only you could persuade Rachel to give up those horrific, plaid platform shoes.

Betting Disputes

SANTANA: Six hundred bucks! Pay up, bitches!

FINN: Six hundred — can we talk about this? There’s no way it comes to that much! Artie?

SANTANA: There are two bets.

FINN: What?

SANTANA: First, we bet that the video would be awesome.

(MIKE assumes a blank expression.)

MIKE: I don’t remember that.

SANTANA: It’s on the video!

MIKE: Good point. Continue.

SANTANA: Second, we bet on the time frame of my ever releasing the video. Matt bet the closest, because I told him I would show it tonight. In exchange, I promised to do his share of the paperwork for a month. So you pay him, and I get paid.

ALL: Matt!

MERCEDES: You’re a sellout!

MATT: Hey, I have to work with her. When she’s happy, I’m happy. And vice versa.

RACHEL: We are going to have a serious discussion about this, Matthew.

ARTIE: Okay, but…we didn’t clarify to whom we were betting that the video was, er, is awesome. And it is a subjective bet. Who’s to say whether it’s awesome or not, and who gets to determine that?

SANTANA: I know, and I thought about that, too.

TINA: Of course you did.

(SANTANA ignores her.)

SANTANA: First of all, it isn’t subjective. Everyone was laughing, including me. Which proves that you think the vid is awesome. Second, because it was my camera, my idea to bring the camera, and my idea to use the camera, the money belongs to me.

KURT: Whatever, San. We all held the damn camera. We should all get money for that. And I should get a cut of the moolah for my commentary alone!

SANTANA: We can discuss your portion, Tinkerbell. As for everyone else, it’s not hard to hold a camera. Come on, people! It’s only six hundred bucks in total. That’s, like…

ARTIE: About fifty-five dollars per person.

SANTANA: My point exactly.

QUINN: I’m a social worker!

SANTANA: Well, Puck is an architect and J. Hud here is a lawyer. They can cover you. And anyway, you’re a supervisor now, so don’t give me that shit, Fabray.

TINA: You’re really serious about this money.

SANTANA: Ya think?

NOAH: What happened to the kumbaya, we love each other shit?

(BETH was following the conversation with unabashed interest.)

SANTANA: That’s got nothing to do with this.

MERCEDES: Okay, okay. We’ll pay. And you’re giving me a copy of the video file, okay?

SANTANA: Absolutely!


SANTANA: Fine. Fine. Whatever.

MERCEDES: Again, again, again!

[Timestamp #2] >>


Log in

No account? Create an account